My Mom had three girls withing 3-one-half years. I was the eldest. The second born booted me out of my secure first-born nest then the third was born 18 months later... with RH factor Cerebral Palsy.

The baby, (to protect her privacy) I'll call her Sara was a rag doll athetoid type who cried all the time. People said she was just spoiled, but Mom knew differently.

A doctor, who later committed suicide, told my parents to put her in a drawer and forget they ever had her.

I remember Mom crying a lot. A sort of heart-tearing wolf-mother cry.

When Sara, was about eighteen months, a friend suggest she see an osteopath. The osteopath diagnosed Sara with cerebral palsy and referred my parents to Oregon Health Sciences University (OHSU). They had a brand new Crippled Children's Division. Studies on the disorder were just being formed. Sara became a part of those studies for the next 18 years.

Mom and Sara had to make weekly treks clear across Portland up to OHSU by bus for treatments and physical therapy. Mom didn't drive until many years later (about the time I got my license.) Every day Mom would a put Sara through rigorous physical therapy exercises to relax taunt muscles and build strength. To keep the baby entertained my middle sister and I would get our dolls and do physical therapy exercises on them.

When the afternoon exercises were over, Mom would turn to me (not yet four), and say "Judi, I need to you to be Mama's helper. Play with and entertain your sisters. Keep them out of mischief so I can fix dinner." It was the first of many directives.

My sisters made my life hell. I got blamed for everything. I wasn't good enough, I was too bossy. Guess no one told them that being Mama's helper didn't come with directions.

Starting school got me out of the house. Already programmed, I knew I needed to do well and I could get a little attention or recognition. So I gave school my everything.

When I came home with A's, I did get some recognition so I focused on that. There were no after school activities or transportation and I was needed at home.

Like most kids, the patterns and expectations etched into my operational system. We all have them, although they are different depending on personal situations and families. I was in the junior high grades when I realized I shifted to a more upbeat, positive and excited person when I opened and stepped out the door heading for school.

I remember in junior-high school telling my Mom that I wanted to be a counselor. Then I overheard her talking with one of my teachers. They decided I shouldn't do that as I was too sensitive and would get my heart broken. I guess I buried that dream and leaned toward being a teacher. The shift from high school to a huge in-city university left me lost.

A National Honor Society student, I got lost in the college system. At the time the support and counseling system there left a lot to be desired. I never knew who to talk with. I ended up going into data processing so I could marry my high school sweetheart.

The best thing I got out of that relationship was a fantastic son who grew into a very awesome man. He had taken to heart my maternal rantings:

"There is no such thing as girl jobs and boy jobs.

There are just things that need done.

You need to learn how to do what it takes to take care of yourself."

His wife later told me "there wasn't much guy stuff to fix."

Time and my future selves had a lot to teach me. My second husband was 20 years my senior. He never accepted me as his partner, just "the kid." People ask me why I stayed in that relationship so long. Now I tell them, there were still things I needed to learn.

Fortunately, I did realize how mis-matched we were and that I deserved more from a relationship. It was a scary time emotionally.

When I told my son, he replied that they had hoped I'd figure it out. His wife was concerned about what my Ex might do. But I'd seen that with aging and some heavy narcotics for a health issue, he didn't have a lot of testosterones left.

So after 35 years, I told my Ex I couldn't be what he needed me to be any more and filed for divorce. The conversation went downhill from there. His biggest concern was how he was going to find another woman at his age.

In the end he hated lawyers more than he hated my leaving so my exit was rather quick and smooth.

But it took me about six-months to quit looking over my shoulder. And there were intimidating encounters later.

During the time I was married to him, I took training in the field of esthetics. He thought the initial $300 training class was too expensive, a luxury. I never again told him what I spent on classes and I paid for them out of my business.

I sat for the International Certification program for estheticians. Why? Because it was the top of the mountain. At the time... and still today, the US standards and training were not close to the European esthetic standards. Industry leaders had their CIDESCO, so I wanted mine. That CIDESCO exam has now transitioned from the one I took.

Then the exam was a 25 question essay exam plus a demanding hands-on practical exam... all in one day.

Today, it is multiple choice and spread over two days.

Getting the call that my essay work was one of the best my proctor had ever reviewed was a highlight I will never forget. I am proud to call that proctor, Dr. Mark Lees, my friend and colleague. Twenty years later, I traveled with my dearest friend and colleague to attend the CIDESCO World Congress in Italy and then I wrote about the experience for a national trade magazine, and got paid for it.

I built and sold three skin care practices. I ran a private post-secondary career school for over a decade. The programs I offered were all more intense and advanced than what Oregon required. I wanted to raise the bar... and we did. During that time I helped many students enter an exciting field and helped to mentor them into successful careers. Hearing about their successes today, makes me smile.

While I had the school I was reviewing books for Milady Publishing. Then I co-authored two books for them and became the contributing editor for both the first and second edition of Milady Standard Esthetics Advanced. It's still used today. Since then I've gone on to create numerous courses and wrote two e-books to help business women incorporate AI to make their lives easier. There is always another book in progress.

During the time I ran that school the economy and demographics changed a LOT. Student's parents lost access to funding for their kids. It would have been extremely expensive to set up with funding... then Sally Mae closed down. I had one choice... close the school.

I returned to private practice and got back on my financial feet. Then when I sold my skincare practice, I really missed helping women achieve their goals and feeling better about themselves.

I've now gone full circle and with this Transformational Wellness Coaching, I'm excited to use all the different parts of my experiences, mentoring, writing and helping women in a way to help them a achieve self-actualization. It's exciting and a path for me to give back. Women deserve more than achieving a goal or having some success. They deserve to find their next best future self.

You deserve to discover your purpose and how to share your gifts with others. Whether you work in corporate America, run your own business, or are trying to figure out your next steps... I can help you. It's time for a new chapter.

Ready to start your journey? Schedule your Discovery Call now.