My Mom had three girls within 3-one-half years. I was the eldest. The second born booted me out of my secure first-born nest then the third was born 18 months later... with RH factor Cerebral Palsy.

The baby, (to protect her privacy) I'll call her Sara was a rag doll athetoid type who cried all the time. People said she was just spoiled, but Mom knew differently.

A doctor, who later committed suicide, told my parents to put her in a drawer and forget they ever had her.

I remember Mom crying a lot. A sort of heart-tearing wolf-mother cry.

When Sara, was about eighteen months, a friend suggest she see an osteopath. The osteopath diagnosed Sara with cerebral palsy and referred my parents to Oregon Health Sciences University's (OHSU) brand new Crippled Children's Division. Studies on the disorder were just being formed. Sara became a part of those studies for the next 18 years.

Mom and Sara had to make weekly treks clear across Portland up to OHSU by bus for treatments and physical therapy. Mom didn't drive until many years later (about the time I got my license.) Every day Mom would a put Sara through rigorous physical therapy exercises to relax taunt muscles and build strength. To keep the baby entertained my middle sister and I would get our dolls and do physical therapy exercises on them.

When the afternoon exercises were over, Mom would turn to me (not yet four), and say "Judi, I need to you to be Mama's Helper. Play with and entertain your sisters. Keep them out of mischief so I can fix dinner." It was the first of many directives.

My sisters made my life hell. I got blamed for everything. I wasn't good enough, I was too bossy. Guess no one told them that being Mama's Helper didn't come with directions.

Starting school got me out of the house. Already programmed, I knew I needed to do well to get a little attention or recognition. So I gave school my everything.

When I came home with A's, I did get some recognition so I focused on that. There were no after school activities because there was no transportation and I was needed at home.

Like most kids, the repeated messages, patterns and expectations etched into my operational system. We all have them, although they are different depending on personal situations and families.

I got lost in the city college system. Locating support was tough and I didn't know what I wanted to do. I'd always wanted to be a teacher or a counselor, but was told I'd just get hurt because I wore my heart on my sleeve - too sensitive.

I ended up going into data processing so I could marry my high school sweetheart. Then discovered he wasn't ready to grow up and be a partner in our life together. He and his best buddy decided to see how gross they could get - I lost respect and that damaged our relationship.

The best thing I got out of that relationship was a fantastic son who has grown into a very awesome man that took to heart my maternal rantings: "there is no such thing as girl jobs and boy jobs. there are just things that need done. You need to learn how to do what it takes to take care of yourself." His wife later told me "there wasn't much guy stuff to fix."

Time and my future selves had a lot to teach me. My second husband was 20 years my senior. He never accepted me as his partner, just a kid who should do his bidding. People asked me why I stayed in that relationship so long. Now I tell them, there were still things I needed to learn.

Fortunately, I did discover how mis-matched we were and that I deserved more from a relationship. So after 35 years, I told him I couldn't be what he needed me to be any more and filed for divorce. He hated lawyers more than he hated me leaving so my exit was rather smooth. I know he cared in his way, but it wasn't a healthy way.

During the time I was married to him, I took training in the field of esthetics. He thought the initial $300 training class was a luxury, so I never again told him what I spent on classes . Instead, I paid for them out of my business. I built and sold three skin care practices. I did image consulting for 15 years. I ran a private post-secondary career school for over a decade. The programs offered were all more intense and advanced than what Oregon required.

During that time I helped many students enter an exciting field and helped to mentor them into successful careers.

Hearing about their successes today, makes me smile.

While I had the school I was reviewing books for Milady Publishing. Then I co-authored two books for them and became the contributing editor for both the first and second edition of Milady Standard Esthetics Advanced. It's still used today. Since then I've gone on to create numerous courses and write several e-books to help business women incorporate AI to make their lives easier. There is always another book in progress.

During the time I ran that school the economy and demographics changed a LOT. Student's parents lost access to funding for their kids. It would have been extremely expensive to set up with funding... then Sally Mae closed down. I had one choice... close the school. The students were into me for over $40,000 and that left me struggling.

I went back into private practice and got back on my financial feet.

Then I sold my skincare practice but really missed helping women achieve their goals.

I've now gone full circle and with this Transformational Wellness Coaching, I'm excited to use all the different parts of my experiences, mentoring, consulting, writing and helping women in a way to help them achieve self-actualization. It's exciting and a path for me to give back. Women deserve more than achieving a goal or having some success. They deserve to find their next best future self, to self-actualize and find work that aligns with them.

You deserve to discover your purpose and how to share your gifts with other women. Whether you work in corporate America, run your own business, or are trying to figure out your next steps... I can help you. It's time for a new chapter.

Ready to start your journey? Schedule your Discovery Call now.